Family Caregiver Blog

Category Archives: Guest Blogs

Schmid Family Caregiver Profile

Written on May 23, 2011 by homewatchcaregivers in Caregivers in Crisis, Caregiving Advice, Family Caregiver Profiles, Guest Blogs

Statistics tell us that the “typical caregiver” is a woman in her late 40s caring for her mother who is in her 60s and not living with her daughter. But who is she? Or he? Or they? Whatever the age of the caregiver or their loved, or their illness or specific financial or communication challenges, there are many similarities between all caregivers.

Kathy Munson is one such typical caregiver and this profile of her family is sure to resonate with other caregivers out there, regardless of their age, gender, geographical proximity to their loved one, or professional background.

Mrs. Munson is a 55-year old business owner who lives in Paradise Valley, Arizona—a long way from her parents in Dubuque, Iowa. “We are blessed to have both of our parents living well into their 80’s, but the last year both have had medical challenges non-stop,” she said.

Jack Schmid, Mrs. Munson’s brother, does the bulk of the caregiving and had their parents moved to his town in Iowa to ease the caregiving burden of driving back and forth. “Having my parents close by, I believe they are getting a better quality of life,” he said. However, that 70-mile move meant uprooting the couple from surroundings and friends they had known for decades.

“My parents do appreciate the enormous time and effort it takes from my brother and sister-in-law who are in contact with them every single day now,” Mrs. Munson said.

In addition to Jack Schmid, his wife Mantea in Davenport, and Mrs. Munson in Arizona, two other siblings in New York and Minnesota also contribute to the caregiving of their parents, John and Bette Schmid.

Mrs. Munson said that the most frustrating elements of caring for her parents is researching the best facilities without knowing exactly what her parents needs are or will be. For example, her father quickly losing the ability to use his legs drastically changed his care needs. “We did not anticipate it happening and the amount of extra work entailed in getting him to appointments,” she said. “It takes more time and patience on both our part and our parents.”

For a time, her parents were in two different facilities and the family struggled to research all the options. “Companies that came to the home and did in-depth questioning and assessments helped us very much,” she said. Both Mrs. Munson and her brother Jack said that they also have had to learn a great deal about Medicare rules and regulations.

Yet in the midst of all of the caregiving, Mrs. Munson is able to enjoy moments where they are just a family again. She recalls a get together for her father’s 89^th birthday on a Super Bowl Sunday, with lots of family, decorations and a festive mood. “It amazed me that just a little simple planning made such a difference in his mood and to his recovery overall,” she said.

More About Homewatch CareGivers

Homewatch CareGivers is a premier caregiver agency, providing home care for all ages. We invite you to visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com, where you can read articles related to home health, Dementia Care Tips and home care news; or download PDF home care resources. From health care coordination and hospital discharge planning to home care transportation and daily living assistance, let our family of caregivers care for yours.

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Caregivers to the Rescue: Recovering From a Serious Fall

Written on May 2, 2011 by homewatchcaregivers in Caregivers in Crisis, Caregiving Advice, Family Caregiver Profiles, Guest Blogs

This week, Jon Hersch, Owner of Homewatch Caregivers of Columbus Ohio, shares his personal story — reflecting on his unexpected injury and how his own company came to the rescue.

It is now being called “The Ice Storm Of The Decade.” In Columbus, Ohio, there had been freezing rain all day, and nearly an inch of this stuff had accumulated by five ‘o clock rush hour. Nearly half of the county was without power and — with temperatures below freezing — the sidewalks, parking lots, roads, and driveways were solid sheets of ice.

I had made it to my girlfriend’s house after work without incident and was getting ready to go inside and warm up. I parked on the street but then realized that if I left my car on the street, the windows would be a frozen mess in a matter of minutes, so I decided to make room in the garage and pull the car in there.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned.

On my way to the garage, I lost my footing and fell. As I fell, I heard a couple “pops,” and realized right away I had broken a bone. I was able to crawl into my girlfriend’s car, and she rushed me to the Urgent Care. After a few X-rays, the doctor came out and told me I had broken two bones in my foot—my fibula and my tibia.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, and the next thing I remember is heading to the Orthopaedic Surgeon’s office the next morning. The doctor did some more X-rays and put a heavier, more durable cast on my foot, then informed me I would have to have surgery the following Tuesday.

So what did all this mean? Well first, I would be in a cast for at least 6 weeks. Then if all healed properly, I would graduate from a cast to a cane, have some physical therapy, then hopefully be back to normal. But as long as I was wearing this cast, I had to get around using crutches, I could not put any weight on my right foot, and I absolutely couldn’t drive. This is not exactly how I had my next two months planned.

Once this reality started to sink-in, I began to worry. How would I get around? How could I go to the store? How could I go to work? I couldn’t even get to the pharmacy to pick up my pain medication! I had family and friends that could help, but I didn’t want to be a “burden”.

What happened to me happens to thousands of people every day. Many people end up in a similar situation after an accident or a sickness prevents them from living their life. But what makes my story different is the fact that I own a company called “Homewatch CareGivers.”

Homewatch CareGivers is a company that helps people in their own homes. Most of our clients are elderly or disabled, and all of them need some form of assistance living independently. Whether it’s help with bathing, getting to the store, or giving medication, our Caregivers go into peoples’ homes and assist them in remaining independent.

As you can see, my worlds are now beginning to converge. For 8 years, I have been running a company that cares for others, and this time, I am on the outside looking in. I am requiring help from my own company! But despite this connection, I’m still nervous. I’m 40 years old and perfectly healthy. Do I really want someone coming into my home and helping me? How would my Caregivers react to helping the owner of the company? Would this be as awkward for them as it would be for me?

I went to Mount Carmel West Hospital for my surgery, where the surgeon put a few screws in my foot. After a couple nights in the hospital, I was released at 9 AM on Thursday. I called the office, and they sent Betina to pick me up within 20 minutes. She drove me home in the company car. Walking on crutches was still new to me, plus the after-effects of the anesthesia still hadn’t worn off, so I really needed that extra assistance in getting from the hospital to my home.

Once I got home, Betina went to Walgreen’s and picked up the medication the doctor prescribed for me. She helped straighten things around the house, made sure I was comfortable and safe, then reassured me that I could call the “on-call” cell phone if I needed anything at all.

Never before had I felt so helpless. Here I was sitting in my own house unable to do most anything other than sit and lie down. Yet in the back of my mind, I felt an overwhelming sense of comfort. I knew that if I needed anything, I could call Homewatch. I also knew that Homewatch would be sending another Caregiver to my house soon to help clean, do laundry, and go grocery shopping.

The next week was truly enlightening. For 8 years, I had been running a business that helps others without ever fully understanding the impact we have on peoples’ lives. Words like “caring,” “compassion,” and “piece of mind” are thrown around a lot, and we use them quite often when describing our services. But until my accident, I never fully grasped the meaning of these words, nor was I able to appreciate the good we can do and how we can change peoples’ lives for the better.

My experience has taught me that we are not “just another homecare agency.” Helping people with activities of daily living is a means to an end. By providing the services we do, we make people feel more secure and at ease in their own home. Knowing someone is out there and really cares makes all the difference in the world.

About the Author

Jon Hersch is Owner of Homewatch Caregivers of Columbus Ohio. Homewatch CareGivers is a premier caregiver agency, providing home care for all ages. We invite you to visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com, where you can read articles related to home health, Dementia Care Tips and home care news; or download PDF home care resources. From health care coordination and hospital discharge planning to home care transportation and daily living assistance, let our family of caregivers care for yours.

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Why Is Dad So Stubborn?

Written on April 25, 2011 by homewatchcaregivers in Caregiving Advice, Family Caregiver Profiles, Guest Blogs

This week, we are delighted to feature Dr. Roderick Shields O’Brien, Director of Care for Homewatch CareGivers of Colorado Springs. Dr. O’Brien shares his expertise in the context of personal experience, offering wisdom and advice for those supporting a relative through Alzheimer’s disease.

I’ve had a lot of exposure to people with Alzheimer’s disease having completed two residencies after medical school: one in psychiatry and one in neurology. Each of those specialties is deeply involved in the medical care of patients with dementia of all types.

Over the past year, working at Homewatch CareGivers of Colorado Springs, I’ve met many more individuals who are struggling with dementia. Many of them have become our clients and I’ve had the privilege of spending days and nights with them and their families at home (rather than 15-30 short minutes in an artificial environment). I have seen the behaviors and patterns that are commonplace in dementia that would seem peculiar in other settings.

However, none of my family members have had this exposure. So when a close relative was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, there was a lot of confusion. I heard proclamations like: “Why is my father being so stubborn? He can’t remember things for more than 10 minutes—and he knows it! I showed him the dirty dishes this morning and the empty wrapper from the bacon he cooked; but he still would not believe that he already ate breakfast!”

Well, the truth of the matter is that this particular family member always has been stubborn. There is nothing about dementia that resolves life-long personality “qualities.” However, dementia adds many nuances to the situation and complicates social interactions. People with dementia often develop inability to accept their limitations. This is called anosognosia, which means the loss of knowledge of a disease. And it is not denial or stubbornness! Again, there is nothing about dementia that prevents a person from using denial as a coping mechanism when he is presented with bad news.

But in the case of my relative, he was experiencing anosognosia and was not connecting the dots in his own mind. It just did not compute. When I first started seeing this in the “trenches” of dementia care (I mean in the real venues where the down-and-dirty work of taking care of somebody with Alzheimer’s disease occurs—the home), I was reminded of a very enlightening experience I had back in school.

As a medical student, I was assigned to help care for Mr. J at the beginning of my psychiatry rotation. He was the first person I’d ever met who suffered from schizophrenia. Nothing about him seemed unusual until the following day when the topic of cars came up. Mr. J was absolutely certain that he was a car. I found this hard to believe. I thought he was pulling my leg. I quickly realized that challenging this “belief” caused him to get angry. I read through his chart in great detail that night with amazement. It turned out that no matter how much clear evidence was presented to him, Mr. J would not accept that he was not a car. This was a delusion—a fixed [permanent], false belief.

Although anosognosia is not technically a delusion, it is still futile to present evidence in hopes that your loved-one is going to come around to seeing the “truth.” Arguing over the “facts” usually causes agitation and hard feelings. Even when it doesn’t generate tension, it never changes the fixed, false belief!

Most people who have moderate or severe (and even some people with mild) dementia cannot remember much after 3 to 5 minutes—unless there is a thread holding that information current in their consciousness. A common thread that can keep a topic or a piece of information on anybody’s mind is anger. Have you ever been in an argument and felt embarrassed because you were told you were wrong in front of a lot of people? Imagine how much worse it would be if you also were convinced that you were actually correct—you only had to remember some fact that was just on the tip of your tongue or just barely out of reach (somewhere in your memory) cognitively—and then you could redeem yourself. That emotional energy can cause you to ruminate about that injustice for hours or perhaps even longer.

Well this happens all the time when a family member is confronted about why he should not have a drivers license or why he can’t have access to his gun collection; what an injustice! Instead of forgetting about the topic in a few minutes, the elderly parent turns it over and over in his mind until he explodes hours later. And now, the family is surprised that dad remembered something from this morning, but couldn’t he have remember to shut off the water in the tub (which caused a flood in the basement). Now everyone in the home is angry!

Living with any type of dementia (Alzheimer’s just happens to be the most common form) is like moving to a new country where all the social customs are different and where many of the words and phrases have variable new meanings. It is so difficult for everyone, not just the individual who was diagnosed! But there is hope. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of education, but you can learn how to reconnect with your love-one in a way that will allow you to reach the pieces of that person that are still present and begging to be set free.

About the Author

Dr. Roderick Shields O’Brien is from Wisconsin. He attended undergrad at Notre Dame and med school at Indiana University, so he also considers himself part “Hoosier.” He completed two residencies, also at IU, in Psychiatry and Neurology and then served in the US Air Force. His combination of Neurology and Psychiatry backgrounds was a natural path to his current passion for dementia care. As the Director of Care for the Colorado Springs branch of Homewatch CareGivers, Rod enjoys the change of perspective that his current responsibilities offer. When practicing Neurology in the military, time was short and there was a culture of medicating problems as a “Band-Aid” solution. He now spends his spare time teaching, writing, and volunteering. He frequently gives lectures for the Alzheimer’s Association of Colorado Springs and is dedicated to raising awareness of the growing epidemic of dementia and other elder care needs.

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Grieving Alzheimer’s Disease

Written on April 18, 2011 by homewatchcaregivers in Caregivers in Crisis, Caregiving Advice, Family Caregiver Profiles, Guest Blogs, Homewatch CareGivers News, Wellness

Alzheimer’s lasts an average of 10-15 years and is marked by progressive loss of mental capabilities, physical function and social skills. The impact for family members and loved ones is profound, but often goes unrecognized. Sadness and grief, triggered by the long, slow journey of losing someone you love may present as a range of physical responses, such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite or overeating, low energy, exhaustion and tension. Many also experience additional emotional responses to loss, such as guilt, loneliness, isolation, anger and depression. The severity of these physical and emotional responses typically depends on the loss and the closeness of relationship. The journey is unique for everyone.

Let Yourself Grieve

Often, family care givers feel they shouldn’t burden others with their feelings; however, this thinking keeps us from healing. However, giving yourself and others permission to process and grieve is the best way to heal. Find support through family, friends, members of your faith-based community, or a counselor. Support Groups can also be very helpful. If you’re not ready to talk about your feelings quite yet, journal or write about them. This is a great first step towards venting, rather than keeping your feelings bottled up. Find time for yourself each day, whether it’s to cry, relax, or to let go of the day’s stress, anxiety and the responsibilities of care giving.

Allow Yourself the Time

When working to overcome grief, give yourself time. It’s easy to think that just because we can be logical about our grief and pain, we can overcome it quickly. After you’ve begun to talk about your grief, time will help you to accept and cope with it — which can slowly lead you to move forward. The memories will remain, but painful feelings will lessen in intensity. Give yourself time to pass through each stage of grief, and understand that grief very personal, and will be experienced differently.

The stages of grief include: denial, turmoil, anger/fear, depression, anticipation and acceptance. You may or may not experience each of these stages fully, and not necessarily in this order, so be flexible with yourself. You may also bounce between the stages or return to some. If you feel stuck in any of the stages, seek a counselor. Oftentimes, grief leads to depression, which can be especially difficult to recognize and recover from without outside help. Grieving is a normal process, but should be temporary.

Helpful Resources

“Life is Goodbye, Life is Hello,” by Alla Renee Campbell

“Living Through Personal Crisis,” by Ann Kaiser Stearns

“Good Grief,” by Granger E. Westberg

For more information about Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care:

Download The Homewatch CareGiver’s Guide to Living with Dementia

Read Homewatch CareGiver’s Bi-Weekly Dementia Care Tips

Call for a free Pathways to Memory™ evaluation. Offered exclusively by Homewatch CareGivers, Pathways to Memory is comprised of two distinct service options: Specialized Dementia Care and Focused Memory Training. All Pathways to Memory services are provided by specially trained individuals that bring patience and compassion to an emotionally charged family dynamic.

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Help Your Aging Parent Overcome Alcoholism

Written on April 11, 2011 by homewatchcaregivers in Caregivers in Crisis, Caregiving Advice, Family Caregiver Profiles, Guest Blogs, Homewatch CareGivers News, Uncategorized, Wellness

Whether your aging parent is an early-onset alcoholic (they’ve been drinking for a long period of time) or a late-onset alcoholic (the problem has occurred more recently), it’s important to know why alcoholism in the elderly is dangerous, how to confront it, and how to cope as a family.

Why Alcohol Consumption is Dangerous

Emotional factors, such as the frustration that comes with losing independence or becoming ill, and coping with the death of a friend or spouse, can contribute to increased alcohol consumption among the elderly.

Often, symptoms of alcohol abuse may be similar to those of aging and dementia, therefore making it difficult to make a distinction.

There are as many as 100 medications that may interact negatively with alcohol. These include antihistamines, antidepressants, heart disease prescriptions, and even acetaminophen. More information on medication assistance.

30 percent of older adults who consume alcohol may trigger or worsen health conditions, including hypertension, diabetes, and depression.

Older adults have an increased sensitivity to alcohol and also have higher blood alcohol levels per amount consumed than younger adults.

Confronting Alcoholism

Pay attention to red flags and trust your intuition. If an elderly loved one exhibits behavior that seems suspicious (drinking to forget worries, lying about drinking, drinking while alone, etc.), they may have an alcohol problem.

Alcoholism is a family disease, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of another person. If you feel it necessary, suggest and encourage your aging parent to visit a doctor for alcohol intake assessments. If possible, discuss concerns directly with your family doctor.

If your loved one is willing and ready to change, help them find a treatment center that fits your budget and needs (location, specialties, etc.). More information can be found at SAMHSA.

If your loved one is a danger to themselves or their community, consider an intervention. Most recovery and treatment centers provide assistance and support through the intervention process.

How to Cope

Educate yourself. Visit the National Association for Children of Alcoholics for books, resources and valuable information.

Attend Al-Anon, a free support group for family members of alcoholics.

Give yourself some space. Hire an in home caregiver to assist with everyday details around a loved one’s home. A third-party caregiver offers neutrality and can become a stabilizing force during hectic times.

Consider counseling. Dealing with the emotions and stress that inevitably come with an aging parent are enough to bear. When alcohol is added into the equation, a professional can provide coping mechanisms and an unbiased point of view.

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