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National Family Caregiver of the Year Finalist Spotlight: Pamela Parson

“I have never met a caregiver like Pam,” said Allison Enders who nominated Pam for the National Family Caregiver of the Year Award.

Pamela Parson has been caring for her 76 year-old mother for 40 hours a week since 2000.  “Pam says her mother has always been there for her and she cannot bear the idea of her being in a nursing home, away from family that loves her,” said Allison.  Although Pam has 3 siblings, Pam is her mother’s primary caregiver.  She promised to take care of her mother with or without support from other family members.  Pam’s mother was given only 6 months to live from several doctors, but because of Pam’s incredible caregiving sacrifice those doctors have been proven wrong.  “Pam realizes that taking care of her mother is a huge job but she is willing to hang in there for as long as her mother needs her,” said Allison.

“The way Pam re-structured her life and chose career paths that would allow her to care for her mother is extremely commendable” said Phillip Cooley, owner of Homewatch CareGivers of Charlotte.  Pam took a severance package from her employer in 2003 when her mother could no longer attend Adult Daycare and needed round the clock care and supervision.  She was also able to network with an alumni from her business school who helped her get a job that allowed her to work from home.  “With an MBA from Duke University there’s no telling where Pam could be by now, but in order to care for her mother and keep her safe she chose to adjust her career path,” said Allison.

Pamela also uncovered programs that provided extra assistance in her caregiving role.  This assistance included modifying her house to her mother’s needs, building a wheelchair ramp and widening doorways, providing Pam with an electric lift recliner and showering equipment, enrolling her mother in meal deliver programs, and receiving a few hours of in-home care each day all for little or no charge.  “If I were placed in Pam’s position I would want to find what kind of support is available for me out there.  No one can do full-time caregiving alone without support.  Look and see what kind of help you are eligible for.  Homewatch CareGivers was one of several supportive organizations that Pam has employed,” said Philip.

“Every caregiver has to ask, “how can I do this job and not shortchange the other members of my family?” Pam has managed to do that” said Philip.  “Pam is selfless in her care for her mother and, in my opinion, she is more than worthy of recognition” said Allison.

Caregiving Tips for the New Year

As the New Year approaches it is important to reflect on the year before and create an improved caregiving plan.  Here are some tips to prepare for the year to come:

Stay up to date on what’s current in healthcare, including laws (i.e. the Affordable Care Act), new medical devices, medicines, and treatment options.  Mayoclinic.com has a “Research” tab on its homepage dedicated entirely to advances in the health profession and Healthcare.gov is a great source for legal information.

Be sure you have respite care, or at least understand how to access it in the case of an emergency. There are many resources at the local and regional level. Also check out the ARCH National Respite Network.

Develop an emergency plan (if you haven’t already done so) to ensure the safety of your patient if you are unable to provide care. A comprehensive Google search will uncover many resources, including the National Association’s for Home Care and Hospice emergency preparedness packet.

Arm yourself with the right “tools,” including appropriate medications, no-rinse pre-packaged cleansing cloths to making bathing easier, and essentials like one-step barrier cream cloths to cleanse and protect the skin.

 

For more tips visit Sage Products

National Family Caregiver of the Year Finalist Spotlight: Patricia Hurt

“She went against everything the doctors and nurses said and she willed this child to live,” said Sue Cook, owner of Homewatch CareGivers of Summerlin.

Patricia Hurt has been providing care for her daughter Amanda for an incredible 21 years.  Despite a normal pregnancy, Amanda was not supposed to live more than two or three days after she was born, but because of sacrifices and efforts made by her family she has been able to experience life beyond childhood.  Yet, in some ways she will always remain a child.  “It’s as though the family has had a baby all this time.  That’s the biggest struggle they have.” Said Sue.  “Although we all love our children and take care of them as they grow they still mature and leave us.  This will never happen for them, this is a lifetime commitment.”

“I was amazed at the unity of this family for Amanda,” said Therese Elliott who nominated Patricia for the National Family Caregiver of the Year Award.  “Their entire lives have been centered around caring for this child.”  Every decision made in the household is made to enrich Amanda’s life at the expense of the rest of the family.  Patricia and her husband have 5 other children, and it is with the support of their amazing family that they are able to carry on.  “Had it not been for the complete devotion of this mother and the support of this beautiful family Amanda would have never lived this long,” said Therese.  “I have been caring for families for the past 14 years and this family is the most caring, loving family I have ever met.”

The sacrifice for Patricia is great, “she gave up an outside life for a long period of time.  That’s a difficult situation for any person, but I think it’s within a lot of us.” Said Sue.  Patricia home schools her 8 year-old daughter so she can plan her day around the care that Amanda needs.  She has to do everything for her, which requires complete 24-hour care.  Patricia has quit her job and battled health obstacles and sleep disorders due to stress.  In order to avoid being overwhelmed Sue suggests looking to others for help.  “I think that you have to look to other people.  I think they’ve been fortunate to have such a big family who are willing to help, however most of the time it comes back to looking outside the family unit.” “One of the most important things is to look for the options and don’t be afraid to ask for help.  In the beginning this can be difficult, but it’s something we all have to keep in mind when we are struggling.”

In home care can provide respite for family caregivers and aids the caregiver in “stepping outside his or her caregiving role for a period of time,” said Sue.  For more information on Homewatch CareGiver’s in home care services click here.

Home for the Holidays

Coming home for the holidays is an ideal time to check-in on loved ones who might need additional in-home care resources. Whether you or someone else in your family is ultimately responsible for the task of caregiving, use this time together to look for clues that changes should be made.

Monica Heltemes, an occupational therapist and founder of www.mind-start.com, featuring activities for people with dementia, has personally observed many of the warning signs that something is amiss.

“I am a little bit of a detective,” she said. “I’m not saying people should be spied on, but there are things to look for. Memory problems, vision problems and physical problems could indicate that your loved one is failing in some way.”

Ms. Heltemes offered a list of warning signs that an elderly parent or other loved one might need help:

  1. Groceries. “Look for spoiled food or a lack of food in the pantry and refrigerator,” she said. “Is there enough food? Are the foods healthy and balanced, or just bags of chips and doughnuts? If so, that might indicate a problem.” She cautions that you should not leap to conclusions based on these clues since it could mean there are memory problems or driving problems or anything in between.
  1. Mail. Is there a large pile of mail, possibly unpaid bills? Again, Ms. Heltemes stresses that privacy should be respected. “You don’t want to invade someone’s privacy,” she said. “You also don’t want them to be too vulnerable.” She suggests that an adult child offer to review their parents’ finances or talk about how they want to help them stay in their house and live independently for as long as possible.
  1. Driving. Ms. Heltemes said that if there is a worry about driving safety, be sure to discreetly look over the car for any signs of dents or scrapes. Also, ask your loved one to be the one to drive to church or on another outing to assess their driving ability.
  1. Cleanliness. “Look at how their place is kept up,” she said. “Are they having difficulty getting around, getting up the stairs?” Sometimes just getting a cane or a walker can improve mobility around the house, and therefore their ability to tidy up. Or you might need to move furniture and rugs around to make the house more navigable for them.

Once the clues have been gathered, it’s time to talk about what they might mean.  Experts recommend that you be proactive and not sit back and wait for conditions to worsen. The Homewatch CareGivers’ “Let’s Talk” guide can navigate difficult discussions about helping a loved one.

“How you approach it depends on the cause,” Ms. Heltemes said. “Consult a doctor to find the cause—it could be medication causing them to be dizzy so they don’t want to get up and do things or it might be cognitive problems.”

National Family Caregiver of the Year Finalist Spotlight: Allie Bishop

“Through it all, Allie has been the most gracious, ladylike person that I’ve met,” said Patty Garrett, owner of Homewatch CareGivers of Overland Park.

In 2007, Allie Bishop and her family began noticing that her husband Kurt was slowly loosing his coordination, most notably in his athletic ability on the golf course.  Over time more symptoms began to surface and eventually Kurt was diagnosed with a fatal and incurable form of dementia called corticobasal degeneration with behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia.

However, “death is not what is feared,” said Craig Gordon who nominated Allie for the National Family Caregiver of the Year Award.  The true terror stems from Kurt’s rapid inability to perform daily activities and memory decline.  Loved ones feared loosing their husband, grandfather, and friend.

This kind of diagnosis can shake the foundation of a family to the core, and someone ultimately has to step-up to the plate.  Allie has been this person within the Bishop family.  She wants to keep Kurt at home as long as possible, so has chosen to maintain a full-time job while caregiving for Kurt and taking care of the rest of her family.

“She has all these different names and roles. I have seen many family caregivers deal with this same challenge—juggling so many expectations amidst crisis. It’s inspiring to see someone like Allie get through it with grace,” said Patty.

Because Allie was a local winner in the National Family Caregiver of the Year Award contest, Homewatch CareGivers of Overland Park treated her to a spa day.  “I met her at the spa that day when she was finished with her treatments and she said to me ‘I had no idea how tight and stressed my body was until I became relaxed from the massage.’ It is extremely important to do little things for yourself when caregiving to avoid health problems due to stress and worry,” said Patty.

In addition to stress-management, Allie had an opportunity to reflect on her role as family caregiver.  “After her time with us, Allie discovered how important it is for her to be the wife to her husband and not just the caregiver,” said Patty.  “She realized she needed to step back into that role.  There’s a big difference when you get some relief from caregiving and you realize that you get to be the role that brought you to that person initially.  You want your memories to be as a wife to your husband, not the caregiver.”

In home caregivers can be a relief to anyone in a family caregiving situation like Allie’s.  “The number one thing that helps is establishing a routine, when you don’t have help you’re trying to do it all so no one gets 100% of you.  When you have a caregiver, they take on the chore of running the house smoothly.  Once this happens your routine is established and everyone knows what to expect from day to day,” said Patty.

Despite the tragic situation, the Bishop family reported that they have become closer than ever and gained a greater appreciation for health and the support of friends and family.  “Allie’s strength and actions, like so many of those who are in similar situations, is an inspiration and a validation that the human spirit can truly be one of pure kindness,” said Craig.

Click here to learn more about Homewatch CareGivers’ in home caregiving services.

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